Night Chasing

Another one of the ladies seen from the corner of the eye.

Night Chasing

Laughed and chided, her mother
As she headed to the door
A young girl in late teens
With a perfected smile and hopeful eyes
She went out the door
To chase the sun looking to be with stars

Leave the porch light on for me,
Momma
I will be home soon

Night chaser, she became
Slipped into her early twenties
Like an evening gown elegance
Her voice dripped honey,
Light as the clouds,
Seductive as night
She took a job at nearby tavern
Kissed her mother’s cheek with hope and dreams

Keep the porch light on for me,
Momma
I will be home soon

Late twenties closed on her
With cigarette smoke and chained drinks
She met Jimmy in front row
He liked the way her red lips, embraced
The microphone, crooning out desire
Fumbling with her dress
Until she could peel away her skin
Jimmy fed on dreams, promising hope
Stumbling out into the night upon his arm
Found her mother’s eyes in the night sky

Where is the porch light for me,
Momma
I will be home soon

When thirties hit, left scars
Wrinkles on her face
Jimmy’s presence drained her and the bank account
She turned to hooking
Her voice dried up, and music blurred in her ears
Dreams dissipated into needles and pills
Hope faded into two miscarriages, fractured bones
Leaving her cold and alone among shattered glass
Rain pouring and her body crying
She swore she saw her mother’s face rippling in a puddle

I see the porch light for me,
Momma
I will be home soon

Late thirties wore her skin into a thin layer of grime
Walked with Crazy Martha along the alleys
Gathered up cans, looking inside
Hoping to find her fleeting dreams
Swirling in the bottom with the discarded liquid
Hands shook and vision blurred under tears
Feeling her age sagging under eyes
Searched every stranger’s face, looking for home

The porch light…
Momma
I will be home soon

She stood in the middle of the highway
Screaming at Martha between blaring horns, racing traffic
Fists clinched on discarded ribbons
Forty year old eyes found her youth
Lying along the freeway, discarded
Stood there lacing her dreams, hopes through chapped fingers
Could hear her mother’s voice in the wind
She took for the hill, seeing her home
Skin clung to bones, arms peppered in scars
Face blistered from pain, cold
Forgetting, forgetting the roadway
Digging into the hill until dirt split open her nails
Blood mixed with tears, while whispering her mother’s name

Keep the porch light on for me,
Momma
Keep the porch light on, please
I will be home soon

I am almost home to you

The Last Mermaid

This is a series dealing with women I see from the corner of my eye while driving, walking and such.

Last Mermaid

She clung to wall between the weeping ivy
As the cars rushed by, raced by
Threatening to carry her away in their sixty mph
Regulated trails of travel

Skeletal, she hunched forward in her pink gypsy blouse
With blue eyes lost in the horizon
With her lips forming a grim expression
Mimicking the collapsing landscape
Hair peeked out from under her cap
Blonde teasing at the gray

Lost and confused, she lingers
On the wall between the city and the sea
Her body the warring party
With every shallow breath rattling her chest

She had been the last mermaid
Swam all day and all night in those waterways
Before the factories, the highways, the city.
Spent her time collecting sea shells and teasing fish

She caught sight of a boat one afternoon
Then was whisked away in a net
Tested for threat to the national security
In the end, had her renounce her fins
Gave her a cross and a pair of legs, then told her to be on her way

Locked behind the growing wall of skyscrapers and apartment complexes,
She forgot what the sea looked like, but collected postcards, try to remember
Her background and life with paintings of seascapes
She married a fisherman in hopes he would take her home

He turned out to be a farmer, and moved them inland
Surrounding them with miles of wheat fields and windmills
She delivered him three sons
None had the sea in their eyes, and she knew it was lost
He gave her a goldfish and patted her head

She whispered I was the last mermaid
I swam all day and all night
Collecting sea shells and teasing fish

They shook their heads at her
She cried out the sea from her body, until bones were left
Her tongue rattled and rusted to the roof of mouth
Blonde hair turned gray, and blue eyes wasted away

Lost and confused, she sat on the porch
Facing the horizon searching for the sea
Listening for the gulls
They brought in doctors, and provided medication
Told her to swear away her thoughts and dreams
Gave her a blank stare and structure less thoughts

Two months passed with endless rocking
Her children told her about their lives
Her husband routinely fed her and took up with the barmaid next door
After a lifetime and two months, she got up
Left with no word on the eve of her birthday
Disappearing into the wheat fields
Marched silently toward the city

She whispered I am the last mermaid
I swam all day and all night
Collecting sea shells and teasing fish

Wandered along the buildings
The maze of side streets
Marching, marching
Until she found this spot

Where the city met the sea
Sagging, she rested among the weeping ivy
Melding into the concrete, legs weaving into the green
The pink blouse blooming, and she sat there a rose breaking out of stone
Slowly smiled as the last rays of the sun caressed her sunken cheeks
Closing her eyes, and feeling her soul leave with the sun

She whispers I was the last mermaid
I swam all day and all night
Collecting sea shells and teasing fish
Now I am finally home

Connections

I got this idea from a memory of a guy standing on the side of the road with a sign reading "I need a date for a wedding...." i took his idea and placed it with the concept of just needing to connect with someone

Connections

She stood there, a girl transparent, a vertical white line plastered against the grey
Hair hung in strands, clinging to edge of her face
She held a cardboard sign, wrinkled at grip, curling under the storm
Standing in a pedestal of discard trash, Styrofoam companions cluttered feet
Crunched cans, dismissed cigarettes, fragmented glass formed a platform

One by one, the drivers passed her lost in the blurred surroundings
Unable to focus for a moment on the girl orphaned in the rain
Hostage in the backseat, I push my face closer to the window
Eyes reached out to grab her image for a moment
Plucking her outline from the smeared background I collected her within gaze

Her dark eyes plastered to the asphalt, lips down turned
My breaths fogged up her image framing her ghostly body within mist
Raised from the grey, she rattled and body swayed, humming softly to my skin
My mother tells me to not stare and look away
Degenerates have littered the roadways and block a perfectly fine view

She was unaffected eyes planted forward to the highway
Of endless road and flowing cubicles
I can only wonder how we have become so trapped
Caged in the backseat I pushed closer to the door
Smiling, she looked through the fog and grabbed my attention

Just want someone to talk to, the sign read
Red letters swirled around my eyes while the rain beat down
Tiny hands ripping the phrase away making it into fine lines
Like the mascara flowing down her cheeks
Traffic clattered and moaned, growling and nipping at each other

Hostage in the backseat captivated by this ghost girl
I began to wonder when the world became only static
We preferred watching the bars of the television
Remain behind our doors, isolated in our cars
I began to wonder when we forgot how to stop and recognize each other

When did we become orphans lost on the freeway
Pushed within a smeared backdrop
With our gazes facing forward to a gray street, lips down turned
Expressions blank willing to ignore everything around us
I began to wonder when we became lifeless

The car pulled away as we rejoined the streamlined traffic
I turned watching as she began to fade from my view
She smiled, this girl transparent, a white line amongst the gray
I mouthed hello and waved pressing my hand to the back window
As my hand cried, she raised a hand and waved goodbye

Growling Out Another Love Poem

Here is my own personal rendition of love with a little rock and roll and sadness....

Growling Out Another Love Poem

Lace was tattooed upon my hands
Made it easier to hold the microphone
Made it easier to strum the guitar
Growling, screaming out these songs
Stitched up in Rock Star garb
With people reaching up tugging at my feet
Clutching at my legs, pulling me closer to the edge
While I growl, scream out endless tales of injustice, pain, thoughts

All I really want to sing about was your smile

Fading gradually into a memory
Of that mid-May day
The rain ran down the windows
Reflecting their trails along your body
Couldn’t stop watching you
Hands joined, and our conversation mingled
Lost in your eyes, forgotten was the pain
Fingertips traced your mouth for hours
Collected your smile upon my tongue

Wrapped up in the flashing lights
Made it easier to see me
Made it easier for me to forget you
Gripping the stand, panting out responses
Eyes narrowed, I roared
The people jumped and grinded
Snatching at my shadow
While I clutched the stand, panting out songs

All I really want to grip was your shadow

Hovered these days at my doorstep
Footsteps echoed in my head
Trailing away with the last breath of you
My outline branded with remnants of broken speech
Tears burned through my jeans
Hunched over, I fell to the ground
Shattered like the photograph of us

Stitched up in my Rock Star garb
With red lips pressed against the microphone
Made it easier for me to speak
Made it easier to reach you
Singing softly, eyes closed
People swaying before the stage
Lighters paying homage to my fractured ideals

All I really want to do is sing to you

Stitched curtains out of the blue bed sheets we shared
Hemmed them with images of your smile
Hung them with memories of you
Sitting by my window, watching for your shadow
The rain collects in my eyes
I clutched my guitar close, whispering your name
Rock star garb lying rumpled at the end of my bed
Casualty of my endless struggle
Between the memory and this reality
Flashing lights branded upon skin with cigarette smoke, stale beer

All I really wanted was you

Stitched in my Rock Star garb
Singing for a person that is never in the crowd
Hoping to see their smile one more time

Strumming guitar, screaming into the microphone
A pied piper to fragments of this broken heart

I guess this is the only love poem you could get from me.

Lullaby

Here is a more melancholy piece....

Lullaby

She leaned over and whispered
Sing me a lullaby
For I have forgotten this shine
My fingers fell short of her tear stained cheek
Collapsing in my lap of sighs
Smoke haloed our eyes, and her whispers slipped from mouth
Hardships planted in the wrinkles, carrying her worries in bags of sleep under eyes
She leaned over and whispered

Sing me a lullaby
For I have forgotten this smile
My feet stopped short of meeting her on the dance floor
Clattering against the boards of grief
Music choked our ears, and her silence slipped around me
Mysteries tucked under nails, holding pain in the back pocket of her jeans

She leaned over and whispered
Sing me a lullaby
For I have forgotten this hope
My eyes froze upon the background
Focusing on the exhaustion reflected back
Alcohol filled our veins, and her addiction clothed her
Angst pinned up her pant’s legs, clutching fear in the cracks of her lips

She leaned over and whispered
Sing me a lullaby
For I have forgotten this laughter
My breath stopped shy of her skin
Fogging over the disregard clamped in her chest
The crowd framed us, and her loneliness held her hand
Insecurity flashed in the twinkle of her earrings, gasping for freedom with every plea

She leaned over and whispered
Sing me a lullaby
For I have forgotten this faith
My lips pursed against the advice
Choking back the invitation she desired
The hours spilled away, and her outline faded against the bar
Disappointment collected under nails, walking away from this shattered place

She leaned over and whispered
Sing me a lullaby
For I have forgotten this shine
My body pressed close to hers
Losing myself in this reflection
My sight blurred, and her resentment cupped in my palms
She is me, and I am her

I leaned over and whispered
Sing me a lullaby

Male Wanted

Okay, so lets get started. Let us start with a poem that stated my mental state on men for a while in my life. Enjoy.



Male Wanted

I am going to be my own man
Been reviewing the qualifications for days
Each summary came up short
Descending of expectations, falling short of ideals
So I decided to become my own man

You see I have been providing for myself
Been my own leader and follower
Built my life with these hands
Slayed the dragons, saved my own honor
Walking the hallways alone for longer than I could remember

Momma raised her baby girl to keep her head high
All the boys want me to keep my eyes down
I never could see the world from their point of view
Want to keep gaze upon the skyline, journeying for my future

Wearing my strength as a suit of armor
Collecting rage and fear into tattoos weaving around my back
Independence and intelligence my faithful partners
I see the world in these pretty blue eyes
All the little boys can bow their eyes to me

So I am going to become my own man
Call me a bitch, dyke, and cunt if you like, but I am a woman
A woman of unconventional beauty
Hidden within layers, I burn brightly
Rare sensuality cupped, collected in knowledge, honor, compassion

I wish I could be vulnerable and weak
I wish I didn't have my walls
I wish I could be the damsel in distress, the willing whore
Men today have teeth and claws, and all are eager for me to be on my back
Spread my legs and laying, pressing me down
Wanting my fears and desires, then exploit, belittle, until I lose
Sight of the girl inside, this woman of unconventional beauty
Pushing me down, leaving only the concrete and stealing the skyline

So I am going to be my own man
I won't settle for less, and read the reports of failing quality
Am a beautiful woman, and willing to be lost upon the eyes of the blind
Continue to walk these halls alone with sword raised
Staring all the dragons down, and building my own fortresses
Reaching for the skyline with head held high

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I would appreciate feedback and thoughts. Thanks-- A. C. Hawk

Starting up

This is a follow-up to my other website dealing with my poetry. Misery Chick's Confessions will still be regularly updated when I find the time. I felt it was time to bridge out and start another site in hopes to get my poetry out to more people and get more feedback. Thanks. A. C. Hawk

Oh and this is an important factor. My poetry may hold adult themes and language at times, so my work isn't for younger audiences and may be offensive to others. Now, this is just a precaution so don't be afraid to read but consider yourself warned.